What I've Learned from Infertility

As some of you may know, I have struggled with infertility for years.
As I sit here I'm 6 weeks pregnant with a miracle. I won't post this for another several weeks when I enter into my second trimester, but I'm in a good place right now and have been feeling like I should share what my struggle with infertility has taught me over the years.

Infertility Shouldn't be Taboo
I felt incredibly alone until some close friends revealed their struggles. Their courage to share with the world led me to a whole bunch of women who have dealt with similar, or worse, circumstances and somehow found a way to be happy fulfilled people. Don't be afraid to share!

You Aren't Alone
You really aren't. I know it feels that way a lot of the time, but the reality is that

Trust in the Lord's Timing
This one's tricky.  It has been so hard for me to accept.  I think of having children as a very basic and central part of my faith. The whole purpose of this life is family. So for me, having children is a commandment. Well, why on earth should it be so difficult to get pregnant then? I mean, I'm only trying to do what the Lord wants me to do, right? Coming to terms with infertility and

Allow Yourself to Grieve
I went through every step of grief during my multiple struggles with infertility. When you finally reach acceptance, you can move on. Whether that be moving on to treatment, adoption, or contentment is up to you.

Don't Stop Moving Forward
For the longest time while I was trying to get pregnant I lived each month as if I would get pregnant. I restricted medications, made sure to not over-exhert myself during certain times of the month and spent my time planning for something that came with no guarantee. This didn't bring me happiness. I was finally able to find happiness when I accepted that a child might not be in the cards for me and that I needed to make a plan for my life that didn't include another child.

Don't Lose Faith
This one was really hard for me as my husband firmly believed and had faith that we would have more children, just as our p. blessings and other blessings had promised. He did not doubt for one second that through some form or another, we would be blessed with children.  I, on the other hand, was full of doubt for a long time. I rationalized that the blessings promised sometimes may not be of temporal but of spiritual nature. Which, I might add, is sometimes true!

I don't know why the Lord has given me this trial, but I am very grateful for the miracles he's blessed me with. I don't know if I'll be able to have more children after this. I'm going into it with complete understanding that perhaps I will only have two children, and that's ok. I will do my very best with what the Lord has entrusted me with.